Palisade Peaches on Sunday Afternoon

Today I was thinking about simple pleasures as I was eating peach pie ala mode made with the famous Palisade peaches. It's one of the many benefits of living in western Colorado. Not to short change the Colorado National Monument or Olathe sweet corn each a wonder onto itself. Holding on to the wonder past six years old is so hard in today's world. No matter how we shelter our children the world intrudes in ways we could not have imagined when we were six. The world of my childhood included playing unsupervised ten hours a day in the summer with all the other children on the block. Halloween meant hours, even after dark, of ringing doorbells and eating everything in our bags with no xrays. Couples on television slept in separate beds and the biggest problem the Beaver faced was grass stains on his school pants. I know my parents and grandparents, too, watched as the world spun faster and faster and now we seem to have it warp speed. Information flies at us, invisibly, through the air we breathe. How do we stop it, or at least slow it down. There are some old-fashioned ideas still taking place in homes across the country like board game night and Sunday dinner. I think we owe it to our children to slow the world down whenever we can. It's not always easy, and in fact, it usually is met with some resistance like the family camping trip but it is essential to our and our families physical and emotional health. So this coming week make plans to slow down, bake a peach pie, invite the family to the table and sit around after dinner playing Monopoly or Clue.

Validation

Having shifted my brain and career from the left to the right, I am dealing in new territory. Working in research, I pretty much new if I had done something right or wrong. There were always measurements, statistics and outcomes by which to gauge my performance. Not so in the world of creative writing. Grammatically, of course, there is right and wrong but my editor saw to it that I got those things correct. It's the content that is hard to quantify. How do you determine if a story is good except by getting feedback from your audience - subjective feedback. It comes down to what people like and if enough of them like what you write, you have a modicum of success or like J.K. Rowling you roll in it.

I took a risk with my first novel and deviated from the predictable and traditional style of storytelling. My novel "Threads" tells the story of Margaret Mary Casey through the eyes of her "threads", the people who impacted her path and taught her valuable lessons about herself and life. Each chapter starts with a color and it is the color of the thread this person left behind in Maggie's life. The novel combines, storytelling, philosophy and poetry. It chronicles the many lessons we all learn in life and hopefully readers will see their own threads in the pages of this novel. Many people have loved it, some have been a bit confused and some just didn't get it. I wouldn't change my approach to writing. I let the book write the book and the story tell itself. I just try to get out of the way and let the words come pouring out. I will continue this way as it has a zen-like feel and works for me.

So how do I know if "Threads" is any good? Does popularity alone dictate quality? I don't know. I recently found out that "Threads" has been chosen as a finalist in the fiction category for the Colorado Book Awards. Does this validate my abilities as a literary writer? Again, I don't know. No doubt, I was elated at hearing the news.

I am working on a new novel and will just have to trust that this is what I am supposed to be doing and if I stay focused and allow the words from the universe to flow through me onto the page it will be enough. It's that darned ego that gets in the way. Some days, I just need to hear a good word to stoke my engine. Much as I would like to rely solely on self-confidence, a kind word from a reader can send me skyward. I want to thank all of the people who have taken the time to write a review or send me feedback about my book. You have been great and have helped me through some tough days. You have plastered a grin on my face for which I am eternally grateful.

I would love to hear from other writers about the need for validation, the necessary evils of the ego and objectively assessing your talents. Readers too, are welcome - how do you determine if a book is "good"? What criteria do you use?

Happy Thoughts

Patrice St. Onge

Courage

I am doing research on a character for a new novel I'm working on and stumbled on a blog that got me thinking. My character is a paranoid schizophrenic so I went looking for symptoms and treatments in order to make him believable. What I found were tortured and incredibly courageous people sharing their thoughts. After reading a dozen or so blogs, a pattern emerged. People were either having a good day or a bad one. Unfortunately, mental illness works this way. Having been through a few deep depressions in my day, I can attest to the validity of this statement. On a good day, you hope it doesn't end and on a bad day you can't wait until it does. Why is that? Why is life reduced to good days and bad? Cancer patients also describe their lives this way. Why is it that we don't afford the people with mental illness the same respect? It is still something to hide in our society. Just mention a family member with schizophrenia and everyone present gets squeemish. No one says any words of kindness, no one shares stories of friends and family going through the same struggle. I'm guilty of sitting silently, my discomfort visible. Why is this? I think the explanation lies in the fact that we don't know what causes mental illness so there is an unreasonable fear that we could get it. We know more about certain cancers (not necessarily what causes them but what to do to maybe avoid getting it - no guarantees, of course) than we do about the etiology of schizophrenia. If we don't smoke we can reduce our chances of getting lung cancer. What can we do to reduce our chances of being locked up inside our minds? It's a control thing. There is an illusion of control when it comes to cancer, whereas, we have none when it comes to our minds taking an involuntary vacation. I know that stress played a role in my side canyon trek into depression but still occasionally venture close to the abyss due to inability to see the signs. We have all been there, life is that way.

Writing is often said to be therapeutic but as I read those blogs I realized it is not a path out. In fact, it seemed to be a circular event. Like the dog chasing its tail. For some people there is no path out. Their brain chemistry cannot be changed but for others the cycle needs to be broken. Quit writing about good days and bad and get out and do something. Get out of your head and into your body. Take a walk, get a pet, engage in conversation even when you don't want to, take a class and surround yourself with people who are active and involved in life. I also encourage those with mental issues to seek help and enlist an advocate to help you assess options.

Back to respect, for those of you who have avoided the pitfalls of the mind, be compassionate for those less fortunate. I'm not sure how we change our societal views of mental illness. I do know that years ago when I went through it I learned quickly to not disclose it. I don't know how to get it out of the closet. Maybe we can learn from those brave enough to come out of the closet with regards to sexual orientation. Maybe we need a movement, an activist to champion the cause. I welcome suggestions and comments.

Book Clubs

It's always a bit intimidating to meet with a Book Club that has read your book. Last night I had just that experience. Upon arrival, I met with the woman who had invited me and she informed me that this was a church group. I immediately thought about my novel and whether or not I had painted church ladies in a positive light. I think I had been fair in my handling of religion. Although my main character, Maggie, was more Taoist, she did have an experience with a "higher power" that reflected positively on the christian view of God. After introductions, I talked about what it takes to get a novel written and published and how the cover design evolved. I told my Oprah story which involves a message from the beyond (I'll share this in another blog). The evening carried on with conversations running from marketing to what happened to the high school boyfriend - which of course could only be speculated on since he was a fictitious character. The lemon cake was divine (really) and the women kind. All-in-all an enjoyable evening. I will probably do this again in the future and I hope it will have a similar outcome. We writers are sensitive souls so please if you are asked to critique a book in the presence of the author, be kind. Remember, we are human and have risked a great deal to expose what we know of life through our characters. Even if the book is awful, find something kind to say - maybe you really liked the dedication or the author's bio in the back of the book. I'm guessing perfect strangers don't come to your office to critique your work - put yourself in their shoes and as my mother used to say (okay and probably someone famous) - 'if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all". Well, okay, I recommend you find something to say, even if it's about the weather. Book critics will make sure your author knows his or her place in the echelon of writers.

River Rafting and Gnats

So what the heck do river rafting and gnats have to do with writing? A lot. Words are like that, you know. Sometimes they flow at 13,000 cfs and sometimes they hover in the air and bite once in a while. I find each day is new when I pick up my pen. Somedays I get muscle cramps because the words come so quickly I can't hardly keep up and other days I am struggling to pick them out of the air and have them take up residence on the page. What is that all about? Is it hormones, biorhythms, lunar cycles, a bit of undigested beef???? Who knows. It is what it is, so go with the flow so to speak. On days that you are plucking them out of the air like an amateur guitarist, don't get frustrated, just let them come in fits and starts and when they are flowing, well happy days! I believe every book writes itself and so the its rhythm may not be your rhythm, relax and let it happen. Happy days!

Writing Backwards

It's weird to think about aging. Instead of a biological clock ticking it's our lifespan clock taking pieces of us and scattering them to the winds. In my case they are adding to the sandstone of the Colorado National Monument in my backyard. I've read about the insidious nature of time passing but the reality is so much more, well, real. My neck is crinkly, my eyes can barely been seen beneath the droop of the lid, I can't go 24/7 like I used to (this, I think, is a positive), and my feet are trashed. I was a runner, 5ks, 10ks and a couple of short court triathalons - now I'm happy to walk. So what's the point of all this whining, you ask? I can think of a million reasons - seeking wisdom, advising the young to appreciate youth, accepting my aging body, gaining a sense of humor, looking for grace, honoring all women of age but I think really it comes down to mortality. I am and you are - Finite! We, like a good story, have a beginning, a middle and an inevitable end. Stephen Covey said "write your epitaph" if you want to know how to live your life. Start with the end and work backwords. What do you want to be remembered for - this changed my life because I didn't want to be remembered for being a good project manager. So I quit and wrote a book and am working on two more. Think about it - it might just work for authors. Start with your last chapter and write in retrograde like running a movie in rewind.

Happy Writing!

Survival

I am a member of the Colorado Independent Publishers Association (CIPA) and Director of the Western Slope Chapter in western Colorado. Last Saturday we had a panel discussion with bookstore buyers and librarians. It focused on how small press/self-published books can get on the shelf. The panelists were great and had lots of good information for us but the thing that struck me the most was the difficulty independent bookstores have maintaining a stable financial picture. Every book counts and if they are not selling they can't keep them on the shelf - makes sense. Competing with the big box stores is a full time job for these shops. We lost our only independent bookstore in Grand Junction and it was a sad day.

What does the independent bookstore offer? For me they offer a chance to browse shelves in comfort, a friendly and familiar face, and conversation . There is just a different atmosphere. I am far more likely to engage another customer in a small bookstore as opposed to a big box customer - this may be idiosyncratic. I love the smell of books which is missing from corporate stores which have been sanitized. I like the feeling of community that permeates the air. I have also found that as a self-published author, these bookstores are far more welcoming. I had a book signing in Ridgway, Colorado at the Cimarron Bookstore and Coffee House and it was wonderful. Priscilla, the stores owner, is kind and encouraging, and her store is a delight.

I think there are a few things, we as writers, can do. First, don't shop the big boxes either in person or online. I learned that most independent stores now have an online presence and you can order through their website and support their independence. I had not thought of that and have decided that going forward, I will buy books only from independent stores. I encourage all in the book community to do the same. You can also "adopt" an independent store and refer all your book sales to them. One writer is doing this and is refering business to Off the Beaten Path in Steamboat Springs and it is working well. Leslie and Dick Ryan own and run this well-known independent store and were part of the panel previously mentioned. The Tattered Cover in Denver is also a good choice. Whatever store you choose, make it an independent one.

So, I would love to hear other ways in which we can support independent bookstores. Please send your ideas by commenting on this blog.