Time Flies

Just like the pest that circles your head while hiking in the mountains, age circles around your eyes, your waist, your joints and those synapses in your brain. I never thought about getting older but somehow it happened. I thought I would be a runner into my 80s until an autoimmune disease decided to destroy the joints in my feet leaving me less than mobile. I look around and find many of my friends in the same shape and we were the active ones. The ones who worked out regularly, ate healthy, employed stress management techniques - it really doesn't seem to matter, time flies and pesty bugs get the better of our bodies. I'm still recreating my here and now based on the fact that I can't go to the gym five days a week. That was what I did. I'm not sure what to do now and am still figuring out how much movement I can endure before the pain kicks me in the butt. I have a degree in PE and a master's in Exercise Physiology so my life has been based on movement, active, running, biking, hiking, skiing, kinds of movement. Just trying to get my feet into my snowboard boots can leave me grimacing and limping and up until last winter I endured the pain because I couldn't not go but his last winter, I never got near the slopes. It scares me to know that, to know my life is changing and out of my control. I know my sisters are sitting back and laughing because they never exercised a day in their lives and both are enjoying relatively good health while I limp and sometimes consider crawling upstairs.

Echoing in my head is a refrain I often repeated to my child as she grew up "life is not fair" boy that's an understatement. It's just not. My friend who has ovarian cancer has been an organic vegetarian all her life and regular exerciser - so much for living a clean life and having it pay off. Sometimes life is just a crap shoot and you just deal with whatever comes your way.

So enough of the pity party. There has been one bright spot in the changes age has brought. It is that I have learned how to sit still and not feel guilty. I do sudoku in the evenings to relax and feel no pangs because I my saucony's lie dormant in the closet. I still lace them up to walk to the mail box. It's strange this time of transition, I both fear and look forward to it.

How has age affected you? Did you expect it? Are you ever angry about it? Has it come with unseen blessings? I would love to hear your stories.

Journeys

We all take many journeys in life - some good, some bad but almost all are educational. We learn about our selves through the events that take place and how we handle them. Many times I have wished I would have handled things better but even that was a step forward as I became aware. A friend of mine has started on a frightening journey. One against a silent killer - ovarian cancer. She is brave and courageous and I admire her spirit. Another friend is nursing an aging father whose health is precarious and requires daily assistance. Still others face the uncertainty of retirement. My younger friends face the challenge of growing up in the age of instant media. Gone are the days of blissful ignorance and innocence. They know too much too soon. When faced with difficult journeys, I always recommend that my friends journal. There is something therapeutic about getting it down on paper and out of our internal organs. I have journaled for years and some of it landed in my first novel, Threads - the story of a woman's journey to her true self. I chose only those journeys that were universal, ones that most of us travel - the pains of an awkward childhood, the metamorphosis into adulthood, loss, love, divorce and the growth of the soul.

I would love to hear from readers about their sweetest and toughest journeys. How did your cope? Did you journal and did it help? Who helped you most on your journey? What did you learn?

All journeys lead somewhere - where are you now and how did you get there? The road behind is as important as the road ahead.

My Oprah Moment

In an earlier blog, I mentioned "my Oprah moment" and said I would explain later. Well, here it is:

My niece (we'll call her Kathy) who lives in the Chicago suburbs had a friend (we'll call her Amy) who knew one of the stage managers at the Oprah show so she asked me to send a couple of books, which I did. So my niece gave the book to her friend, Amy, who gave the book to the stage manager. Many months went by and nothing was heard. Then one day, Amy called my niece, Kathy, and the conversation went something like this:

Amy: I received a thank you note with $5.oo in it. I am going to give you the $5.oo back.
Kathy: What do you mean, you got a thank you note?
Amy: Yes, I got a thank you note from ... who wrote that book?
Kathy: My aunt
Amy: Well, I think she said she was your aunt's mother in the note. It said something like "thank you for getting my daughters book to the Oprah show".
Kathy: That can't be, my aunt's mother, my grandmother, has been dead for over 20 years.
Amy: Yes, yes it was and I want to give your the money back.
Kathy: Did you save the note?
Amy: No, I tossed it.
Kathy: How about the envelope or did you see the postmark?
Amy: I think the postmark was Wisconsin.

My niece, Kathy got chills, her grandmother (my mother) had lived in Wisconsin prior to dying. I got chills as she retold the story and so has everyone else in my family. I can't explain it and don't even try. I just want to believe that somehow my mom is watching and this was her way of helping me. I have missed her these 20 some years.

Well, even though the idea of communication from the beyond is a long shot, I like to think it's possible and maybe, just, maybe Oprah will get a message from the beyond and I will be telling this story on her show someday.

Happy Holidays

Giving Thanks

I got to thinking about family today and about publishing my first novel. The two are intricately woven into my fiber. I'm not sure I can adequately capture the depth of the one and its affect on the other. So many writers talk about how everyone told them they couldn't or that they had no talent. My story is quite the opposite, when at fifty, I told my family I was quitting my day job, to write a novel - all I heard was the sounds of their encouragement. And then after the book came out all I heard was "send me some books to sell to my friends." They didn't even expect "freebies" each member paid me for each book.

My number one fan is and continues to be my wonderful husband, who, from the first time he read my writing encouraged me to make it my career, and the day I picked up the phone to end a 20 year career in research, told me to go for it. Then there is my daughter, who stands by me and cheers me on, selling books to all her friends and coming to all my readings and signings. She read through early versions of the book and made some invaluable comments that helped the book to be even better and she continues to believe in me as I work on my new novel. Next comes all my brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews and cousins who have all bought and most of them read, my book. The emails have poured in telling me how much they enjoyed the book and encouraging me to keep putting pen to paper. Friends all over the country have taken the time to leave messages of congrats. Some have even taken the time to write reviews on amazon.com for me. All of this outpouring of support has bolstered me as I learned to navigate the world of publishing which can be quite daunting and darn right soul-crushing at times. On those days, I replay those messages or read the reviews, take a deep breath and keep writing.

So this Thanksgiving, I know what I am most grateful for - each and every one in my cheering section, who with little knowledge of my skill as a writer, encouraged me to write on. I will write on to honor their belief in me and to show appreciation for the incredible gift I've been given. Thank you all.

The Psychology of Book Signings

I have been waiting for my thought on this subject to coalesce prior to launching into a blog but I have decided to venture forth in my confusion. First, I will distinguish the event by separating the famous, well-known authors from the rest of us barely, slightly and moderately known authors. Jenna Bush is on a 25 state book tour and I am guessing she is not having problems with drawing people to her book signings. However, for the rest of us lesser known authors they can be akin to a root canal. Why is that? I have many hours to ponder this questions as I sit at my table in the Barnes and Noble or other bookstore waiting for a human to approach. I have Dove chocolates and a big smile to greet them with but they buzz by my table making a wide berth as though I had a contagious disease. Have we eschewed human contact in favor of virtual relationships as was discussed on NPR today? People blog, join social networking sites and IM in cyberspace but won't approach a real person to talk thoughts and share experiences.

I am just as guilty. I have been in bookstores during book signings for an author I had not heard of and made a point of avoiding the area where he/she sat. I had gone to the bookstore to sip a latte and immerse myself in a book. I was in search of a solitary experience. Plus, it's a bit intimidating to approach someone whose book you have not read and have no idea if you would be interested in it. What if it happens to be a book about the last amoeba standing, how do you politely extricate yourself? I have bought many a book I really didn't want just because I am too polite to say so.

One thing for sure, advertising is key. As is creating an event rather than a static book signing. I held an event in a small town in Colorado and drew a good crowd because I billed it as a discussion around writing and publishing books rather than a book signing. I sold a book to almost everyone present so it works.

So is the day of the book signing coming to an end? I would love to hear from other authors and those who attend or shy away from these events.

Palisade Peaches on Sunday Afternoon

Today I was thinking about simple pleasures as I was eating peach pie ala mode made with the famous Palisade peaches. It's one of the many benefits of living in western Colorado. Not to short change the Colorado National Monument or Olathe sweet corn each a wonder onto itself. Holding on to the wonder past six years old is so hard in today's world. No matter how we shelter our children the world intrudes in ways we could not have imagined when we were six. The world of my childhood included playing unsupervised ten hours a day in the summer with all the other children on the block. Halloween meant hours, even after dark, of ringing doorbells and eating everything in our bags with no xrays. Couples on television slept in separate beds and the biggest problem the Beaver faced was grass stains on his school pants. I know my parents and grandparents, too, watched as the world spun faster and faster and now we seem to have it warp speed. Information flies at us, invisibly, through the air we breathe. How do we stop it, or at least slow it down. There are some old-fashioned ideas still taking place in homes across the country like board game night and Sunday dinner. I think we owe it to our children to slow the world down whenever we can. It's not always easy, and in fact, it usually is met with some resistance like the family camping trip but it is essential to our and our families physical and emotional health. So this coming week make plans to slow down, bake a peach pie, invite the family to the table and sit around after dinner playing Monopoly or Clue.

Validation

Having shifted my brain and career from the left to the right, I am dealing in new territory. Working in research, I pretty much new if I had done something right or wrong. There were always measurements, statistics and outcomes by which to gauge my performance. Not so in the world of creative writing. Grammatically, of course, there is right and wrong but my editor saw to it that I got those things correct. It's the content that is hard to quantify. How do you determine if a story is good except by getting feedback from your audience - subjective feedback. It comes down to what people like and if enough of them like what you write, you have a modicum of success or like J.K. Rowling you roll in it.

I took a risk with my first novel and deviated from the predictable and traditional style of storytelling. My novel "Threads" tells the story of Margaret Mary Casey through the eyes of her "threads", the people who impacted her path and taught her valuable lessons about herself and life. Each chapter starts with a color and it is the color of the thread this person left behind in Maggie's life. The novel combines, storytelling, philosophy and poetry. It chronicles the many lessons we all learn in life and hopefully readers will see their own threads in the pages of this novel. Many people have loved it, some have been a bit confused and some just didn't get it. I wouldn't change my approach to writing. I let the book write the book and the story tell itself. I just try to get out of the way and let the words come pouring out. I will continue this way as it has a zen-like feel and works for me.

So how do I know if "Threads" is any good? Does popularity alone dictate quality? I don't know. I recently found out that "Threads" has been chosen as a finalist in the fiction category for the Colorado Book Awards. Does this validate my abilities as a literary writer? Again, I don't know. No doubt, I was elated at hearing the news.

I am working on a new novel and will just have to trust that this is what I am supposed to be doing and if I stay focused and allow the words from the universe to flow through me onto the page it will be enough. It's that darned ego that gets in the way. Some days, I just need to hear a good word to stoke my engine. Much as I would like to rely solely on self-confidence, a kind word from a reader can send me skyward. I want to thank all of the people who have taken the time to write a review or send me feedback about my book. You have been great and have helped me through some tough days. You have plastered a grin on my face for which I am eternally grateful.

I would love to hear from other writers about the need for validation, the necessary evils of the ego and objectively assessing your talents. Readers too, are welcome - how do you determine if a book is "good"? What criteria do you use?

Happy Thoughts

Patrice St. Onge